It’s the eve of my 37th birthday, and so many things are running
through my head. I mean, it’s just another day right?   I’ve been 36 for 365 days now,
 (leap year last year), but something about actually having to say “37” out loud was
at first a little troubling for me.  I’m getting “older” and there’s nothing I can do about it. 
The crazy thing is though, I still feel young.  Where does the time go?
        While at first I was feeling a little depressed, and thinking, I’m getting
“old,” I came to a realization,  that I’m only as “old” as I feel, and honestly
I don’t feel old at all.  Despite my teenagers making fun of me and constantly
me telling me, “mom, you’re so old,” they know what’s up, and so do I.  “I’m
jamming on the one.”  
           I met a woman this weekend who is 93 years old.  She was sporting
 a jumpsuit, and her hair looked so healthy and vibrant.  Thinking
about her helped me to decide that I’m going to make a conscious effort to stay
young and heart and young at mind.  No, I don’t wish I was 17 again, or wish I
was back in high school, I love my life and how it has evolved over the years. 
But I’m going to keep life fun.  I’m going be happy.  I’m going to make others
happy.  Happiness, I believe is the secret to staying young.  Frowning and being
mad all the time only ages my face.  Letting these kids stress me out, no more,
stress does nothing but age my body, I’m already finding grey hairs all over the
place (if you know what I mean), I don’t need anything extra “greying” me up. 
My time is now..
                 Tomorrow I’ll be 37 and I’m proud of that. While my age is getting
higher in number, I’m not getting “older,” I’m getting wiser and happier, and
thanking God for each new day.  Instead of complaining about getting old,
I’m now thankful for the time.  Time that will be used  making love to my
wonderful husband and time used  spending quality time with my bratty kids;
I’m not wasting any more time pouting about my age; I’m going to enjoy this
adventure that is my crazy life. And if you’re feeling the way I was about getting
older, I encourage you to do the same thing.  Laugh, smile, stop complaining,
make love to the one you love, enjoy raising your kids and enjoy your crazy life too.

Just three days ago my husband and I celebrated ten years of  marriage, “wow.”  It seems like
just yesterday we went on our first date to a “grown folks party,” hosted by one
of my dear friends.  We went as friends and came home as more than friends.  You know that “chemistry” everyone talks about, well we found it that night. 
It was absolutely Love at first kiss.  Me probably more so than Bobby, but still the chemistry was there.  A sweet kiss at the end of our night, confirmed the change we both felt in our
relationship.  I remember going home, and my sister was there.  I told her that night that I knew he was the one.  I wanted to marry that man.  I had already “revirginized,” at that point and was practicing celibacy. I knew that I would have to stick to that promise I made to God, because I really wanted to marry this man. 

From that night Bobby and I got closer, we talked on the phone every day, we saw each other every day. We very, very soon exchanged the most important three words, “I love you.”  I had never felt the love I had for Bobby with any other man, I knew something about this love was different, and deserved to be cherished, and I could tell by the way he held me, and accepted my vow of celibacy that he felt the same. 

Bobby and I loved to watch movies, we would stay up till the wee hours of the mornings talking, laughing, watching movies and holding each other.   When Bobby and I came together he had a daughter and I had two sons.  We would always spend the week nights together and the weekends we would spend time as a “family,” with all three kids. One particular weekend, we weren’t going
to have any kids for the weekend, we didn’t know what to do with the free time.  I remember lying on his lap while he was running his fingers through my hair, I said to him, “so no kids this weekend huh?”  He replied with a big smile, “nope.”  I asked him, “what are we going to do with all this free time?”  He said, “ I don’t know, what do you want to do?”  I replied, “hmmm….. how bout we go get married?” He looked down at me and smiled, “OK.” The rest is history….

I know a lot of people will want to wait for the perfect proposal, and that’s cool, and truly when I suggested we go get married, I don’t know if I knew he would want to do it the way we did.  But what I did know is that he loved me, and I loved him.  I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, and I wanted to give him “me,” entirely.  So three days after that conversation, which was about two months after that first date, we were married.  
 
Ten years and four more kids later, we’re still going strong.  Our love has evolved into something that cannot be explained with words, and I pray that God will continue to bless us, our family and our
Love.

 
This is one sentence I am so
tired of hearing, but I’m trying to be “mom” about it and be understanding. 
It’s the line my five year old has been giving us for the last few weeks.  Every
time we tell him to go to bed, he finds me where ever I am in the house and
says,  “mom, can I sweep in your room?” ( Yes, he pronounces his “l” sound with
the “w” sound). He goes on to say that he is too scared to close his eyes.  We
keep telling him, there is nothing to be afraid of, but he’s not going for it.  
It does have me somewhat concerned because just a couple of weeks ago he didn’t
mind sleeping in his own room with the lights off, but now, forget it. 
My
fourteen year old had night terrors when he was around four or five, those were
the worse, he would cry and sometimes scream if I remember correctly, and when I
would go into the room to check on him, he was just fine, didn’t have a clue
that he was just  scared to death.  But with my five year old, something is a
little different.
  About a week or so ago, he literally ran in my room and
hid behind the baby bed, (yes my two year old still sleeps in the baby bed;
don’t judge).  I had only seen something like that in a movie, and probably a
horror movie.  But more like the Wayans Brothers horror movie, because although
I was concerned, it was one of the funniest things I have ever seen.  I asked
him, “what’s wrong baby?”  and just as my older son couldn’t remember, my five
year old also had no clue as to what happened?  I’m going to keep my eye on him,
but he is perfectly fine until it’s time to go to sleep.  A big part of me
thinks he just wants to stay up, because he loves power rangers and will watch
them for hours (yes, I let my child watch hours of tv; don’t judge, he can read
too), but  a small part of me is very cautious.  I don’t want to be one of those
parents on the horror movies who doesn’t believe that their kid is being
tormented by an alien monster at night, and they really are.  So I got my
peripheral on it.  For now, I keep a blanket and a pillow on the couch in my
room, I know he’ll be in my room about 1 or 2am.  No big deal I guess, because
my two year old is up about 12:30 to get out of his baby bed and into ours, and
my seven year old makes a bed on one of those dora couches you get from Toys R
Us.  He comes in around 2 or 3am, (and yes he is too long for that couch, and
the cushion is gone so he might as well be laying on the floor, but hey, that’s
his choice.)  All I can do is make sure there is a blanket there waiting for him
when he arrives. 
“Mom, I’m scared…..” blah blah blah, I know what that
line means for me.  It means Bobby and I can forget about private time.   I hope
this is a short phase for him, I want him to be comfortable about falling asleep
and doing it in his own room.  But until then, I’ll just have to deal with his
question every night.  At least he’s cute when he asks.  But no matter how cute
he is, I know all you parents know what the answer is…..two words, six
letters…….And although I don’t actually verbalize the two words to my child, I’m
definitely thinking them.  I give him a big hug and a kiss on those chubby
cheeks and tell him “I’ll see you in a couple of hours..”