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Tips to Dating a "Girl Like Me..."

3/17/2013

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Please note that this post is mostly full of snark. I'm playing... kinda sorta. 
Except for the stuff that's true. Just saying...
I have been consistently told that I'm a "different" type of chick... That's fine... Except I don't really know what that means. I don't even think the guys that tell me that know either. Because lemme tell you... *sigh*

Whatever it means, I realize that I have to work with the perception that my #geekstatus puts me in a different group. If this is in fact true, that this other category actually exists, apparently there needs to be some guidelines to how to date a girl like me.  Well, not all girls like me, because apparently I'm "different," but you know what I mean...
Yes, I... That one chick, has the unmitigated gall to be proactive and give you information on alternatives to approaching me. Because as of right now, what I've been getting is full of fail and apparently y'all need assistance... 

1. Please stop telling me how "different" I am... I'm not really that different

Saying how different I am isn't convincing me that you are really interested. It kinda sounds like I am some sort of experiment. Instead of someone you want to date. And please don't explain this difference by comparing me with the other women on your list. It doesn't help. Erase what's in your head, Its not true... I'm just a girl that like to read and do stuff. No, really... 

2. During the initial conversations, can you please not tell me how I need to calm down, or how I need to be "tamed?"  

OK, so if in the first conversation you tell me how its cool that I'm "feisty" and the next time you tell me I'm "too feisty," you sound crazy. Telling me that you are just the guy to make me "obey (yes, that happened)" is hilarious. Only because of the opinion that I am as the most hard-headed woman ever. And stop calling me a "Filly". That's just dumb...

3. I'm a Sweetheart, but not a Punk. I'm a Geek, but not a Square

I am the most caring, giving and supportive person ever. That makes me a good person, not a pushover.  Oh, and my Geek Status does not make it so I don't like fun. I will do most things at least once (except maybe skydiving... because you may only have one chance at that...) 

4. Yes I understand that you may want to do more things than talk, But please pay attention when I'm talking

The more you pay attention the better I am receptive to you. That's all I got for that one.

5. Yeah...  Can you look up when you talk with me? 
     
I understand that I have certain, um, features, that may take up your attention. However, most of you are grown enough to understand how to pretend to look in someones face, right? So Let's do that. If you behave like a gentleman in the beginning you can go a long way. Trust me on this... 

See? Simple. I didn't even talk about how your "game" could use some (OK, a lot) of work. I didn't even talk about the crazy one-liners that would drive any woman to knitting her own kittens and staying home. Just be yourself. I bet you're pretty cool when you aren't pretending to be someone out of a 70s flick. Try that. I be a Girl like me would love it.  

Thank you for your time. I'll be over here with knitting needles and Red Vines...


Monika
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Why I Hate to Love My Friends... No Seriously...

3/11/2013

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 “She is a friend of my mind. She gather me, man. The pieces I am, she gather them and give them back to me in all the right order.” 
                                                                                                      ~ Toni Morrison, Beloved                          

Friends are ridiculously troublesome... They pull you places you don't want to go, they know ALL of your business and they tell you everything you don't want to know about yourself. Sometimes they like to do things and MAKE you do things with them. They make it really hard to like them... but I do

 Pushy, just plain pushy... All of them.. Well, at least the ones worth while. 

I didn't really have more than 2 friends at one time most of my life until I arrived to the Bay Area... Totally my fault. I'm terribly hard on my friends.  I can be known as difficult, harsh and closed off to  everyone. The friends that survived are more amazing than can ever be imagined. I'm still only 1/2 as good as they are if I am at all.  I barely even call... and they still love me... God Bless them because I have cut folks off for less. Seriously, Ask around...

Having friends can totally be a pain. By definition, they tell you what you need, not want to hear. Like "let it go, he's not worth it..." or "No,its not them, its you honey. It's better you hear it from me (totally has happened to me)." I sit there and listen to them tell me why I'm wrong or why I overreacted (which I tend to do) ... And I sit there... And I Sit there... while I slowly plot ways to excommunicate them from my life for telling me what I needed to hear.  I hate them for that. Seriously... at least for a while...

But the one thing about friends, they support you no matter what, They tell you "he's not worth it, because you're worth more..."   Even though they will point out what YOU did... the sentence sounds like " Here's where you're wrong... But if you want us to roll up over there, We're good with that too. Let me get my keys" And even though you KNOW you overreacted they promise they won't tell anyone and they back you no matter what. They even back my crazy Ideas, like having a group of women speak their mind on some blog folks felt inappropriate (ahem... like this one), or to have a podcast that is now 2 years old. Or to start a network that helps underrepresented groups understand Autism... These friends of mine... They just say stuff like "That's totally a good idea! Let's do it..." AND .... They tolerate all of the Ratchet that is me... ALL OF IT, DO YOU HEAR ME!!!!

See, Just tricky with their support... and their help... and their being nice and awesome... and stuff... 

I spent this past weekend with the greatest people in the world to me. All of them have taught me (hopefully) to be a better friend than I used to be. They didn't even have to yell at me (well, not a lot... and even when they did want to, they just shook their heads instead). They showed me by example how its done. 

Bunch of Tricky folks... The whole lot of them .... Dag gone them and their goodness.


I hate that I love them to death.. But Lawd knows I do... 




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    The Resident Geekstress & History buff.  This Blog could be about anything at any given time.  Thanks for hanging out with me!

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