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Why I Hate to Love My Friends... No Seriously...

3/11/2013

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 “She is a friend of my mind. She gather me, man. The pieces I am, she gather them and give them back to me in all the right order.” 
                                                                                                      ~ Toni Morrison, Beloved                          

Friends are ridiculously troublesome... They pull you places you don't want to go, they know ALL of your business and they tell you everything you don't want to know about yourself. Sometimes they like to do things and MAKE you do things with them. They make it really hard to like them... but I do

 Pushy, just plain pushy... All of them.. Well, at least the ones worth while. 

I didn't really have more than 2 friends at one time most of my life until I arrived to the Bay Area... Totally my fault. I'm terribly hard on my friends.  I can be known as difficult, harsh and closed off to  everyone. The friends that survived are more amazing than can ever be imagined. I'm still only 1/2 as good as they are if I am at all.  I barely even call... and they still love me... God Bless them because I have cut folks off for less. Seriously, Ask around...

Having friends can totally be a pain. By definition, they tell you what you need, not want to hear. Like "let it go, he's not worth it..." or "No,its not them, its you honey. It's better you hear it from me (totally has happened to me)." I sit there and listen to them tell me why I'm wrong or why I overreacted (which I tend to do) ... And I sit there... And I Sit there... while I slowly plot ways to excommunicate them from my life for telling me what I needed to hear.  I hate them for that. Seriously... at least for a while...

But the one thing about friends, they support you no matter what, They tell you "he's not worth it, because you're worth more..."   Even though they will point out what YOU did... the sentence sounds like " Here's where you're wrong... But if you want us to roll up over there, We're good with that too. Let me get my keys" And even though you KNOW you overreacted they promise they won't tell anyone and they back you no matter what. They even back my crazy Ideas, like having a group of women speak their mind on some blog folks felt inappropriate (ahem... like this one), or to have a podcast that is now 2 years old. Or to start a network that helps underrepresented groups understand Autism... These friends of mine... They just say stuff like "That's totally a good idea! Let's do it..." AND .... They tolerate all of the Ratchet that is me... ALL OF IT, DO YOU HEAR ME!!!!

See, Just tricky with their support... and their help... and their being nice and awesome... and stuff... 

I spent this past weekend with the greatest people in the world to me. All of them have taught me (hopefully) to be a better friend than I used to be. They didn't even have to yell at me (well, not a lot... and even when they did want to, they just shook their heads instead). They showed me by example how its done. 

Bunch of Tricky folks... The whole lot of them .... Dag gone them and their goodness.


I hate that I love them to death.. But Lawd knows I do... 




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