I went to a Mocha Moms convention, which happened
to be in Vegas, "my favorite place!" One of the many great speakers was Amy
Chua, the author of Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. She spoke about the
differences in parenting styles between the Western Civ. and Eastern Civ.
Anyway, after her presentation, I made a conscious decision to make some
changes in my own life in regards to parenting my kids.
What I was doing before-
My kids always
would ask permission to do something or go somewhere or if someone could come
over at the last minute. They would badger me and badger me until I said "ok
fine!" After I would feel upset and so filled with anxiety because I let them
do something I really didn't want them to do, or I would have to reschedule
plans I already had to get them where they wanted to be. I would have an
attitude which Bobby would get the grunt of. Since Amy Chua, I started making
What I do now-
We now have a new rule when it comes to
making any type of requests. First, requests have to be made at least 24 hours
in advance, no more calling me from school and asking to go to a friends house
after school. No more, "can my friend come over today," while the friend is
standing right there. Second, no request after 7p.m., by that time I'm tired,
and I don't want to be bugged and badgered after a long day.
So far it's
been working well, and my anxiety level has gone from 100 to about 60.
Try it, it really works, but know that if you adopt this rule in your
house, you have to be consistent with it or else the change won't happen. But
if you do stick with it, pretty soon, your kids will start asking days in
advance, events will be planned out and organized, and you will feel a lot
better about letting your kids do the things they want to do.
and Happy Parenting!